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Toddlers are NOT invincible.

Don't let them convince you otherwise. They aren't.

Nina's been having a rough week. The return of the scarlet fever, mysterious bumps and bruises and cuts that are appearing on her body (granted, we spent 3 hours at the park yesterday and she fell down a few times, but the cuts appeared after nap time ...) and now her graceful face plant.

I know this is normal. I know Morgan went through the same thing. But I don't remember being this terrified. It just seems like it's one thing after another with her. With her extra hole above her butt, all the drama surrounding the pregnancy and birth, it's been a lot for one little girl.

Nina only busted her lip again, but there was SO much blood. She kept coughing and choking on it, and it was just pouring out of her mouth. It scared the hell out of me. I knew she hadn't busted a tooth, that was the first thing I checked.

I don't know why I'm so freaked by this. Maybe because no matter how hard we try to protect them, our children are really just small little bodies full of blood that are really quite fragile. And that's something that scares the hell out of me. I freaked out and had a panic attack when Morgan was born, because I felt like I couldn't protect her anymore. There's a difference from having your child inside of you, and knowing that they're safe, and cushioned and protected. And then they're this tiny, screaming, angry little bundle that just seems so fragile.

Maybe I"m just paranoid, but I just worry that I'll never be able to protect them enough. And I wonder what that says about me as a person, that that's my main concern, that I need to protect them. Maybe it's the way I grew up, because I never really felt like anyone protected me. But that's my issue to deal with I suppose. My main concern is keeping my kids safe.

And now it's time to go get breakfast ready. Maybe.



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October 2011
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